This week we have been learning to write stories of mystery and suspense. We have been focusing on using short sentences to build suspense and creating a spooky atmosphere.
Your task this week is to finish the story below. Try not to write more than 100 words.
I had no idea that there was a secret room in our house. Not until I heard the noise....
I went inside the spooky door all the bats running around there was a freaky shadow was walking the same times a scary witch and bring up the Ghosts and slims.
ReplyDeleteMafalda
You have remembered your adjectives. A good effort!
DeleteI was in my room playing my piano.Suddenly l heard a strange noise. l searched
ReplyDeleteevery where but as a result there was nothing worked . l heard it again and l screamed AAA l wished someone could help me because my parents are away.
FROM HANSIKA
A creative start to this Hansika. Well done!
DeleteI nervously crept towards the room, wondering who was inside. As I got closer a bright light shone through the gaps in the door. I was terrified. The door creaked open and a crackly voice said "come in". I froze with fear. A strong gust of wind swept me inside and the door closed. There was a skeleton swaying on a rocking
ReplyDeletechair. I yelled "let me out, don't hurt me".
I am very impressed with the fact you have used speech, Arnav! You writing flows nicely also.
DeleteFor some reason when I published my response it said it was Buckingham Palace Class at the top so I don't know if Ive posted it to the right page.
ReplyDeleteAlesha
I haven't received your homework Alesha. Could you copy and paste it onto our blog if possible? If this is too hard then I will ask Miss Tracey to read yours!
DeleteI had no idea that there was a trapdoor behind the sofa.It was my first discovery but when I whent in and it was spooky and dark.I was scared. I could not find the way out.I whent deeper and deeper in side. It was frightening.I saw something it was a door.I opened it and steped in but then the floor fell.It led me to another tunnel but then I head a bang and I ran.It led me to another door and it led me to my kitchen.
ReplyDeleteby Igor
Very impressed with your use of short sentences, Igor!
DeleteI had no idea that there was a secret room in our house. Not until I heard the noise....there was a sudden crash and the bookcase fell over. Then I noticed that there was a giant cat flap in it's place. I thought I should go in. I found out that I was in the sewers but when I turned round the door wasn't there. What was I going to do? I screamed "HELP" as loud as I could! It echoed but nothing happened. Then I thought that I should climb up all the drainpipes but when I was half way up one it came loose and I fell into the darkness.
ReplyDeleteEva
I like the way you have used all the parts of our toolkit in this. The use of echoed is very effective also.
DeleteSecret Room
ReplyDeleteOne night I was asleep in bed when I heard a noise.What was that? I froze.I crept towards the strange sound.As I was going down the stairs,I was scraping the wall.Then I felt a door but I thought the noise was not coming from the door.I went down the stairs more but the sound was fainting.So I went back up the stairs to the door.I pushed the door and the door creakily opened.
It is as dark as the bottom of tunnel. I was so curious to explore the mystery so I got my torch from my room. I saw a chest in the middle of the room.I ran to the chest and opened it at the same time the door closed.Then a sinister ghost poped out.The ghost grumpily said ," You dare open my home." Then I responded," I am sorry, please forgive me." " Fine go," he said. I was relieved and went to bed.I will never go to the secret room again.
Excellent spooky verbs and you have thought about the sounds as well as what they can see. Great effort!
DeleteI had no idea that there was a secret room in our house. Not until I heard the noise......
ReplyDeletecoming downstairs, I jumped out the bed to see where it was exactly coming.To my surprised,I saw a door,Iopened it,it was dark and cold.The room was dirty.I can't barely enter because I was afraid.I can see lots of old and dusty objects.I am scared.I closed the door and I called my mum to see it.
Kristen
You have created a fluent paragraph that builds the mystery. Well tried!
DeleteI moved to a new house. My mum said that I could stay in the loft room. One day I heard a noise like someone knocking a door. I told my dad and he said we have to take some of the wall covering of. So we took the wall covering of then, we saw a door. Then I saw a key I picked it up opened the door then I saw a BOY!!! I told my mum and dad. My mum said I now his mother. So my mum took to him to the police office his mother was waiting for him. So his mother took him home, and I had two rooms.
ReplyDeleteBy Methmi
I like the idea for the sotry, Methmi. Now in your writing you need to try and use different conjunction to 'and then' or 'and'. Well done, Methmi!
DeleteWe moved to a three bedroom house last Saturday. At first, I looked around the house and I saw a nice room and I unpacked my things and set them up. In my room I found a key under a carpet. I tried to fit the key in all doors but it did not fit. I opened the wardrobe and I saw a little door then I tried the key and the door was unlocked. I looked inside it and I found a secret room.
ReplyDelete-Kaushal